There are a lot of things I could write, I want to write, but a lot of times the emotions behind the subjects catch up to me.
And then my brain freezes…
I struggle because I want to be really honest with you, our readers, about my journey into this family.
I struggle because I stink at expressing myself in any way that reveals weaknesses.
I struggle because I grew up with everyone saying things to me like “You are so strong. You have really overcome all the obstacles thrown in your path.”
The truth is that I am not always strong.
I can get overwhelmed by emotions and swept away by the pain. Sometimes my dad and stepmom are exasperated at me because I refuse to talk things through. Many, many times I am the weakest link in my relationships.
Yet, I have such a stirring to share the amazing story of our journey. This past year I have healed so much, changed so much.
Isaiah 61:10-11 is a passage that describes what I’m talking about:
10 I will greatly rejoice in the Lord,
My soul shall be joyful in my God;
For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation,
He has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
11 For as the earth brings forth its bud,
As the garden causes the things that are sown in it to spring forth,
So the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations.
Several months ago, I had a dream where a princess showed me–a dusty, worn out war refugee–the most beautiful garment I had ever seen and then told me to try it on. Me? I was not looking very fitting of royal garments at the time. But I couldn’t help myself!
The radiance, the lure of it was greater than my doubts. The garment fit me perfectly. Like it was tailored beforehand just for me.
That’s exactly how my journey into this family has been. I am making my way through the emotions of a war zone, the toxicity of my past, and I am headed toward a future brighter than I ever imagined possible.
The faithfulness of God astounds me.
I share all of this with you, our blog family, because I know that many of you are walking down dusty roads. I want you to know that garments of salvation and robes of righteousness are waiting for you on the other side.
Don’t give up!
I am also sharing this with you because part of my journey is having the courage to offer insight when all I want to do is run and hide. Please be patient with me as we travel down this road together.
I am right there with you, walking towards a glorious future.
Until next time,