How To Talk To Littles About Gender Matters

Hi there! It’s great to see you again! Last time, Brad talked about the real issues at stake when dealing with Gender Matters. Today, I’m answering a question from one our Spanish readers (which is why you probably saw the Spanish version a few days ago… yes, I’m just getting around to translating it!)

“Ok, I get all that you said in your post, but how do I explain these matters to my little kids?”

Well, I like to ask myself “What does Papa God do with us, his kids, in situations like these?”

As you know, we are in this world, but not of it, and therefore will always encounter cultural currents that are contrary to what God teaches us. Similarly, our kids live in this reality every day!

I think our Heavenly Father does this:

  1. He reminds us of our identity in Him. He made us, He loves us unconditionally and has a purpose for our life. If I feel secure in who I am in Him, I will be stable.
  2. He reminds us that because we are His, we will be different than those that don’t know Him.
  3. He reminds us what He thinks (i.e. His will) regarding this situation in His Word, which never changes, and is the highest authority that exists. The world doesn’t believe in an absolute truth and that is why they are tossed around by a variety of opinions and philosophies that have “man’s will” at the center.

I think that with all this indoctrination that happens in our schools and in pop culture at large, we must candidly chat with our kids WAY BEFORE they hear any of it elsewhere. If they hear about this gender confusion “stuff” from Mom and Dad first, they will compare everything else they hear to the authority already established in their hearts through their relationship with you.

It's never too early to reassure our kids of their identity in God.

It’s never too early to reassure our kids of their identity in God.


If that’s not possible because they’ve already been exposed to something, let’s take our time having a conversation and understanding what their questions might be, and little by little we’ll be reassuring them with the points I mentioned above.

I remember a few years ago, my girls and I went to learn how to do a craft. There were many ladies there, all being super helpful and nice. One lady started talking about her wedding, and how close her and WIFE lived to that place. Well… on our way home that night, I had to explain to my girls (then 6 & 8 years old), that people who are not disciples of Christ live very differently. That even though we know the truth as is stated in the Bible, many people don’t know it, or reject it. I reminded them that in the beginning, God gave Adam a wife and that His will is for our marriages to be a reflection of Christ and His church… His bride.

That was also an eye-opener for me. I realized then that because of the indoctrination this generation has received regarding gender matters, many people are very confused and simply don’t know the truth. They’ve been told they get to choose based on what they feel is right for them, so that if it feels right, it must be right.

Now, this isn’t always the case. There are militant groups who are trying to advance the anti-family, anti-Christian, anti-Bible agenda. But God will give us discernment on how to confront each situation, always with His Word and His love.

So recapping: It’s very important that we be the first to introduce these conflicts to our kids from the time they’re little. We are the  guardians of their hearts and minds and it’s our responsibility as parents to turn their attention to God and His Word. In Gender Matters, the biblical conversation with our kids is urgent!

Thanks for joining us!


Hi! I’m Celina. Happily married to Brad and the blessed Mama of 6. The love Jesus has shown me has revolutionized my life so I passionately sing, write and chat with friends new and old about His Design for our lives. We have lived and ministered in 4 countries and love the adventure of faith God has us on!

  • Lorrie Harbison

    Really like your thoughts on this topic! My husband and I have been in discussion lately how to speak to our children on this very topic. I think my homeschoolers are going to be shocked that this is an issue, so it is hard for me to bring it up. We do already instill in them that God made them exactly as he wanted as a boy with blond hair, freckles and etc. but haven’t approached the topic yet. But we do want to discuss, before it comes up like it did for you. Ours are 9, 7, and 3. Thank you.

    • I think current events need to be discussed tactfully with our children so they are prepared for the world they live in as they grow. You’re right on time and right on target! God always gives us the wisdom needed, He’s so faithful!