When Walls Fall

I’m at this really strange place in my life. 

It’s this weird feeling that things are starting to normalize. You start to even think that everything won’t fall apart if you relax a little bit. Sometimes you even catch yourself having fun, enjoying yourself instead of wondering when it’s all going to blow up in your face.

In the last year, I’ve been fighting against this feeling. If something seems too good to be true that’s because it is….or is it?

Maybe life can be good. Maybe people mean what they say.

Last time we talked about walls, remember?

What’s the purpose of walls?

Protection. Defense.

I started building walls to be safe, to hide from the hurt. And somewhere behind those walls I lost myself.

Now, for the most part, my walls are gone. Only dust and rubble remain.

What do you do when the walls fall?

Through the dust and rubble, I can see my parents. They look so happy. I know they are pleased with my progress. I can see their hands outstretched, waiting for me to take my first step.

I’m scared because I want to move on but that means I lose control…

I’m also scared of staying where I am and watching life slip through my fingers.

This fear could paralyze me. I let it for a while.

The good news, though, is that I don’t have to go by my feelings. None of us do.

I’m not harping on the downside of emotions.

We all need to have a healthy relationship with our emotions. God gave them to us to use as indicators, but they are not supposed to control how we respond.

I’m not saying it’s easy (because that would be a lie). I’m just saying that it’s possible.

As Christians, the Bible is the ultimate authority, the final say, in how we respond to all of life’s situations. God is so awesome, so wonderful that He gave us His word to make it through the difficulties of life.

When everything is in turmoil, we can find peace and comfort in Scripture. We find the sustaining truths that will stand no matter the test set before us. No matter how scared we are to take the next step.

It’s definitely a choice, though, that each one of us has to make on our own.

And that’s where I am today.

Standing where the walls used to be, seeing my parents outstretched hands, I choose daily to look beyond the unknown and see something better. A life where good things are possible and you find hope through deep, meaningful relationships.

My name is Audra Kennedy, and I am the newfound daughter of Brad and Celina. The journey toward family restoration has been quite an adventure! It’s a desire of mine to help others who are walking down the same path. Growing up without parents or growing up knowing that your parents are less than ideal is not an easy burden to carry. The good news is that there’s hope through the transforming power of Jesus Christ to overcome even the darkest of pasts. And that’s what I want to share with you.